A Rock Star's Unexpected Return to Judaism

Growing up in Mexico City, Nesiah didn’t feel connected to any religion as a child. Her maternal grandparents practiced some Jewish traditions, her paternal grandparents were nominally Christian, but her own parents were secular. Nesiah sought spirituality through music and art.

“Since I was six years old, I was doing music and dancing,” says Nesiah. She trained as a professional musical artist, dreamed of becoming a rock star, and put out several albums. Her busy daily life consisted of “going to the gym, then I was in the studio writing music, recording, dancing.”

Her dream was becoming a reality but she didn’t feel satisfied. “I’ve always wanted to be part of something positive in the world,” she says. “I wanted to grow and evolve as a human being and to help others. And I thought that through music, I could use my voice to make an impact. But during my music career, I realized that I was in an environment that wouldn't allow me to grow as a human being.”

Glowing Hebrew Letters

Nesiah kept looking for something deep and real. “I was constantly in a battle with myself,” she recalls. “I felt trapped and I wanted to come out of that place.”

Not exactly sure what she was looking for, Nesiah ventured out to travel the world. At age 20, she visited Israel for the first time. It was a fun trip and she didn’t think much about it.

After she returned, Nesiah had a dream. “There was darkness around me, but a beautiful, quiet darkness. In front of me, I see Hebrew letters, and they’re shining light.”

Back then, Nesiah didn’t know the Hebrew alphabet but when she woke up, she searched for the sounds she had encountered in her dreams. She discovered that it was the Hebrew name of God.

“At that moment of my life, I was having a hard time,” says Nesiah. “We were about to record my last album. I left my mom’s house, I was looking for a place to live, I wasn’t talking to my family. I was just not finding my place anywhere.”

Then Nesiah had another dream. “It was an old castle. In my dream, I said, ‘I have to go to the king.’ When I got to that place, I saw a huge door. I knocked on the door and suddenly a man with a musical instrument came out and said, ‘Welcome home!’”

Nesiah had a teacher who had converted to Judaism. She told her about the dream. The teacher said, “This was King David!”

She gave Nesiah a small book of Psalms (most Psalms were written by King David) and said, “If you want to get out from the place where you are right now, you have to pray.”

“Pray? I don’t pray. To whom am I going to pray?’”

A few months later, the teacher told Nesiah about a trip to Israel for non-Jews. Nesiah felt that she had to go back to Israel and joined the trip.

Before she left, one of her producers told her, “I have a feeling that you’re not going to come back.” She didn’t believe him but, in retrospect, “he saw what I didn’t want to see.”

A Life-Changing Trip

The trip proved life-changing. “In Israel, I realized that Judaism is based on ethical behavior, and these values are really strong among the Jewish people. Everyone I met was trying to work on themselves, whether they were religious or not. The two people that really inspired me were the trip leaders, Rabbi Daniel Chapan and Rabbi Daniel Kohn. I saw how dedicated they were to share Torah, to share their knowledge and everything that they received to make everyone's life better, to help others.”

Nesiah felt drawn to the Jewish lifestyle she observed in Israel. “Deep down, that's what I really wanted,” she says. “I see that the Jewish people are working on tikkun olam, fixing the world, and I wanted to be part of it. This is part of my soul’s inner desire.”

For the first time I felt, Wow! I found my place! And it’s here.

“The last day of that trip was the most powerful day of my life,” says Nesiah. “They took us to a beautiful place in the Judean Hills for a concert. The music was really going very deep into my soul.” Nesiah found herself crying without understanding why the music elicited such strong emotions. “I felt my soul saying, ‘This is it!’ And for the first time I felt, Wow! I found my place! And it’s here.”

After she returned to Mexico, Nesiah kept up with Rabbi Kohn and his wife Batya. They have guided and supported her throughout her journey.

Jewish Ancestry

Nesiah asked herself why she felt such a strong connection to the Land of Israel. When she visited her maternal grandparents in Mexico, she questioned them about their connection to Judaism. Growing up, she had seen Jewish items in their home, like a Hanukkah menorah, but hadn’t thought much about their significance.

The family history Nesiah uncovered was complicated. Her grandparents descended from Syrian Jews and grew up in the Jewish community. Both her grandfather’s father and her grandmother’s father were Jews who came to Mexico from Damascus in 1910. They actually arrived on the same boat, together with other Syrian Jewish families.

In Mexico, her grandmother’s father met her grandmother’s mother, who was not Jewish. Before their wedding, she had converted to Judaism. However, a unique aspect of the vibrant Syrian Jewish community is their longstanding aversion to conversion.

To this day, Nesiah does not know if her great-grandmother’s conversion to Judaism was valid. She could not find any records of it, either among the family’s documents or in the local synagogue’s archives. But what she does know, from her grandmother’s recollections, is that their family was never fully accepted by the local Jewish community.

Nesiah’s grandfather’s father married a non-Jewish woman who did not convert. However, his wife left him shortly after giving birth to their son, Shlomo, Nesiah’s grandfather. Even though Shlomo was not Jewish, he was raised in his paternal grandparents’ Jewish home.

Growing up, both Nesiah's grandmother and grandfather attended the synagogue and the Jewish school but they always felt like outsiders. “It was really hard for my family,” says Nesiah. “They faced a lot of challenges and then they left the community.”

Nevertheless, Nesiah’s grandparents couldn’t escape their connection to Judaism. “I always knew there was something very deep in my grandparents, something very special,” she says.

Embracing Her Inheritance

When Nesiah told her grandparents that she was planning to convert to Judaism and move to Israel, “it was really beautiful,” she recalls. “My grandfather called me to his room and said, ‘I want to show you some things.’ He opened one of his drawers, and all his siddurim were there, all his books, his learning books, and also my grandmother's, and he said, ‘Take whatever you need.’ And that made me cry, because they are part of it, and they still have it in their soul. And they never lived the Jewish life they wanted to.”

Nesiah’s grandparents had a limited knowledge of Judaism, but they tried to keep what they knew.

Nesiah’s grandparents had a limited knowledge of Judaism, but they tried to keep what they knew. Her grandmother would make traditional Syrian Jewish food. Judaism “was printed in their souls,” says Nesiah, “and that's what I received. A little bit that, for me, is a lot. Enough to say, wow, this is my inheritance, and this is part of me, and this is part of my story, and I'm not alone. There was a big rectification that needed to be done here, and it was on me. I understood that my decision to come to Israel and convert, it didn't have to do only with me, it had to do with a whole family story.”

Moving to Israel on Oct 6

In the summer of 2023, Nesiah was getting ready to move to Israel for good. “I really felt the urgency to come,” she recalls. “I really felt that something big was going to happen. I never thought it was going to be a war. I remember when I got my ticket, I was just praying to God and asking, ‘Please wait for me!’”

Nesiah arrived in Israel on October 6^th, 2023. She went straight to Bat Ayin, about half an hour south of Jerusalem, to the dorm of the English-speaking school where she would be studying for her conversion. The school had been recommended by the Kohns.

The next morning, Nesiah was woken up by sirens. “I was not familiar with sirens or bomb shelters,” she says. “So it was really shocking, because there were other girls in the dorm that were also new.” The dorm counselor knocked on the door and informed them that they were being bombed and had to run to the shelter.

“I didn't even have shoes and I saw the girls already running to the streets,” Nesiah recalls. “I just started running up the hill to catch up to the girls. I didn't know anyone yet.”

Nesiah met the head of the program, as well as the other students, in the bomb shelter. It was a rather dramatic introduction. “At some point, we all realized that it was serious,” Nesiah says.

Despite such a rough start, Nesiah never considered going back to Mexico. The experience only “reinforced my purpose of being here, that what I was feeling was right. We are on a huge mission, and this is the moment, and there's no other place to be. I was not scared at all. I was just so sure.”

As Israel fought, Nesiah threw herself into learning how to be Jewish. It was a bit of a culture shock. She felt like she was “starting my life from zero again. I didn't know anything. But I know that I’m on a true journey and I want to be with God. I know that my family is with me and I'm committed to this.”

Nesiah felt that she had to shed the public persona she’d built up and to expose who she really was underneath.

The journey has not been easy. Nesiah felt that she had to shed the public persona she’d built up and to expose who she really was underneath. She says, “It's all about returning to your essence, and that requires a lot of humility. I was feeling so small! I didn't know the culture and the language. I didn't know any Torah. But then the most beautiful thing is that this path of Torah helps you to really return to yourself and to live in a simple, truthful way.”

Conversion

Nesiah persevered. Besides the overwhelming amount of knowledge she had to acquire about Judaism, Nesiah had to overcome her internal obstacles.

“I didn't feel holy,” she says. “I always saw the Jewish women so holy, and I was like, what am I doing here, God? You know I'm not holy. I don’t understand Torah, I don’t know how to keep Shabbat, I’m scared of making mistakes. That was the biggest challenge, to start finding myself and to realize that it’s okay.”

Nesiah was afraid of rejection, but she found her new community to be very welcoming and accepting. “The Jewish people have such a big heart,” she says. “The community received me with so much love and compassion and with open arms, so that was very healing.”

Though at times Nesiah felt she didn’t belong, she reminded herself that her ancestors were behind her. Someone told her, “You don’t know who in your family was praying that one of you would come back. And those prayers were answered with you.”

Nesiah with Rabbi Daniel and Batya Kohn

Nesiah kept that in mind as she kept studying, determined to become the best Jew she could be. As Nesiah’s Hebrew improved, she switched to the Kohns’ program, Midreshet Zohar.

Altogether, it took 18 months for Nesiah to complete her conversion. “It feels long when your soul is burning and you really want to be Jewish,” she says.

The conversion itself was an emotional moment. Nesiah felt “that I finally made it back home. I was at peace with myself. My inner struggles were gone. I felt so grateful, and at the same time, I felt a big responsibility. This was only the beginning. I committed to keep the Torah and the mitzvot and to stay on the path of growth. And I want to keep my commitment.”

Looking Forward

For the first year and a half after coming to Israel, Nesiah stayed away from music and dance. Part of it was the difficult situation in Israel, and part was being focused on conversion. She says, “I didn't want to sing, I didn't want to dance, I couldn’t create, but I really missed it.”

Now, Nesiah is slowly getting back to music and dance. “I know that if I come back to that, it's going to be in a different way,” she says. “I’m finding my way. I started dancing a little bit again. I'm taking flamenco classes. We'll see where it goes.”

Today, Nesiah’s goals and dreams are more complex. She wants to live her life purposefully as a Jewish woman, “to honor my family, to honor the life they couldn't live, and to build a new family, and to bring Jewish souls to the world. That's a huge mission.”

Before her conversion, Nesiah’s vision for her future never involved marriage. In the music industry, marriage was not a value. When Nesiah learned about the importance of marriage and family in Judaism, she discovered a whole new dream for herself. “What if I dare to dream that I can find a soulmate? What would it be like to have a home?” she says. “That’s where I am right now, in the process of finding myself.”

Currently, Nesiah is continuing her studies at Midreshet Zohar, deepening her knowledge of Judaism. She still lives in Bat Ayin, “a beautiful, spiritual community. A lot of artists and musicians here. It’s very unique, and it really fits with who I am.” She enjoys preparing for Shabbat and holidays and participating in religious life.