Debunking Viral Claim About the Talmud and Minors
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As a Jewish matchmaker who has witnessed the intricacies of love and identity and helped many couples navigate religious differences, here’s my take on the controversial series.
Love is often falsely portrayed as the ultimate force that can overcome any obstacle, and the new Netflix series Nobody Wants This plays into that distorted belief. The show is a comedic drama about the romantic journey of a young rabbi and a bold, non-Jewish podcaster, as they navigate the humorous and challenging dynamics of their interfaith relationship amidst cultural clashes and family expectations.
The series raises important questions about conversion, personal values, and the portrayal of Jewish culture, sparking conversations that are both necessary and timely. As a Jewish matchmaker who has witnessed the intricacies of love and identity (on Netflix, no less!), and helped many couples navigate religious differences, I feel compelled to address some of the controversial issues presented in the series.
Joanne, a non-Jewish sex podcaster who is dating the young reform rabbi, Noah, seems to understand that she doesn’t value being Jewish for the right reasons. Although she does value Noah and their connection, she doesn’t want his lifestyle. Noah, on the other hand, is seeking a way to turn her on to Judaism so she can fit in with his lifestyle.
Conversion to Judaism should be rooted in a genuine desire to embrace God, the Jewish faith and its practices, not merely a means to get the guy.
Jews don’t push conversion. Judaism welcomes those who want to convert, but Jews don’t actively seek to bring people into the fold. Judaism does not believe that everyone should become Jewish. While this couple's personalities click and there is a vibe between them, there is no strong alignment between their lifestyles or family values. Opposites may attract but without core values being aligned they ultimately won’t be able to sustain a relationship. The series presents conversion as a path to secure a connection, but it raises questions about the sincerity of such conversions.
Conversion to Judaism should be rooted in a genuine desire to embrace God, the Jewish faith and its practices, not merely a means to get the guy. The series shows Judaism as relevant to Joanne only because she met Noah. She wasn’t looking to deepen her connection to God, or delve into the depths of Judaism. Neither one allured her; in fact, she identifies herself as agnostic. Joanne simply accidentally found Noah, a rabbi, and wants him, and has to decide if she wants the responsibility of Judaism and the title of Rebbetzin that comes along with getting him.
The Jewish concept of shomer negiah, refraining from physical contact with individuals of the opposite gender before marriage, is a cornerstone of observant Jewish communities – and for good reason. When dating, we first seek to understand if our values align and in order to do so, we take physical intimacy off the table so that we can focus on assessing that alignment. Do we have a similar vision for our future life? Do we seek to raise a family in a similar manner? Do we connect and desire to be a part of the same kind of community? Without this information as the identified foundation of a relationship, everything else is irrelevant.
Love and intimacy are two pieces of a much larger relationship puzzle.
The series seems to gloss over big picture issues and cuts to sex before examining the alignment of values by rushing the physical intimacy as they sleep together after their first date. This, sadly, is considered the norm in life and rom-coms with the belief that love conquers all. But in reality, love isn’t enough. And neither is physical intimacy. They are two pieces of a much larger relationship puzzle.
The series seems to favor romantic fantasy and overlooks the true depth of a love that can last. Whether Jewish, Christian, Hindu, or Muslim, many faith-based daters understand that it’s essential to delay physical intimacy. It’s not merely a restriction; it is deeply rooted in a respect for oneself and one’s partner and aids daters in making smart lifelong decisions. Faith-based couples of all backgrounds understand that physical intimacy elevates the deeper spiritual and values-based connection. And that’s why I recommend the five-date challenge where I encourage daters to keep hands-off for the first five dates. Once couples know their values are aligned and there is something deeper and more meaningful established, they have the confidence to know they are headed in a positive direction. This can all be accomplished without physical intimacy.
The overall representation of Jewish characters in this series falls into clichés, perpetuating harmful stereotypes. Some critics have even said that the series is mildly antisemitic. The diverse experiences and backgrounds within the Jewish community are not portrayed. This narrow snapshot of Jewish representation is harmful at best, reinforcing age-old stereotypes. The depiction of the women as hyper-focused on marriage, lacking compassion, emotional awareness and depth, and seemingly uninterested in physical intimacy with their husbands simply isn’t accurate. Repeatedly referring to Joanne using the slur “shiksa” is cringey more than anything else, and the fact that she’s seen as “the” hot, attractive, good-looking one, whereas the Jewish women are all not conventionally pretty – just irritating and grating – makes me uncomfortable. Believe it or not, there are plenty of gorgeous blonde-haired, blue-eyed Jewish women, who are emotionally aware, kind and giving. And the family dynamic lacks any form of healthy boundaries that are, today, part of a healthy, functional family setup.
The Jewish people are so diverse and to continually see the same portrayal we saw 50 years ago is unhealthy and inaccurate, all for the sake of a quick laugh. I’d love to see a wider, more accurate portrayal of the Jewish community, along with more clever humor that doesn’t simply fall back on tired, demeaning stereotypes.
One of the most poignant themes in the series is the idea of sacrificing personal morals, values, and beliefs for love. While love is a powerful emotion, it is crucial to recognize that true love does not demand the abandonment of one’s core beliefs. Relationships should be built on mutual respect and understanding, allowing both partners to maintain their identities. And truth be told, Joanne probably appreciated Noah for his morals and values. For him to not align with the depth and core of who he is and for him to express the sentiment that love conquers all should be a turnoff for her. And anyone or anything that removes him from that takes away this essence doesn’t truly love or appreciate who he is at his core. I think Joanne understood that on some basic level, although Noah doesn’t seem to see the core issue with the love-faith debate.
The series posits that love can overcome any obstacle, but this is simply not true. Often there are couples who love one another and yet they divorce. Was their love lacking? In many cases, no. Relationships require more than love to succeed; they need compatibility, shared values, and a commitment to a lifetime of growth together. The romantic notion that love can conquer all can lead to disillusionment and heartache when reality sets in.
"Nobody Wants This" provides a platform for discussing critical issues surrounding love, identity, and Jewish values. While it sparks important conversations, it is vital to approach these themes with sensitivity and respect for the traditions and beliefs that shape the Jewish experience. As a Jewish matchmaker, I believe that marrying within the faith is not just a recommendation but a foundational value that enriches our lives and communities. Love is a beautiful journey, but it should be navigated with an understanding of one’s identity and values, ensuring that it uplifts rather than diminishes who we are.
The millionaire matchmaker Patty Stringer said to women you don't have sex with anyone unless you are in a committed relationship, it is sad if women do not have self respect and just have casual sex, when did women become so loose with their bodies, also this behaviors could have bad consequences in the end
I really wanted to like this because I love Kristen Bell from the Good Place. But just like the Good Place didn't know where to go, this got lost. No one is pointing out the thing that bugged me the most. Episode 5! The rabbi grabs 2 candles and lights them on Friday night to honor Shabbat. This is a major problem. Lighting candles at night breaks Shabbat. Candles only honor Shabbat when they are lit before the sun goes down. Also does he then have to blow them out? Again that desecrates Shabbat. It makes the whole thing ridiculous which leads to the whole problem that God is nowhere in the picture. Like people said, it's only about lust. Judaism just becomes an institution to celebrate milestones and to have something to occupy time. A hallow Judaism doesn't help anybody.
I am Jewish, a child of Holocaust survivors, and I too found this “entertainment” to be quite disturbing. I am not Shomer Shabbat but I don’t believe in the Reform movement. Orthodoxy purposely sets a high bar. Everybody, no matter what their own level fits under the Bar. Reform creates a low bar. Those whose own level of orthodoxy does not fit under bar is excluded. Reform therefore is not inclusive. They are exclusive. On the other hand Orthodoxy, because everyone fits under the bar, is the perfect example of inclusiveness. But I think this show is disturbing. I don’t see any respect being shown towards the Jewish community..
It's not love. It's lust.
Love means wanting to be together with someone with whom the two of you can bring out the best in each other.
Love means wanting to build a family that can be greater and more special and more beautiful than each of you can possibly be alone.
Marrying someone because you each make the other one "feel good" together while the actual marriage is a destruction of your values and goals in life is not love. It's lust, it's maybe a craving for love, maybe you wish it was love, but it's not it.
Love is marrying someone with whom, the two of you together, can build something greater and more beautiful than you could ever be alone.
May the Almighty bless every person with true love.
I agree 100%
Amen
I was not a big fan of the Jewish Matchmaker series on Netflix, because I didn’t like the Jewish candidates for matchmaking- in my eyes they were so embarrassingly stupid in insisting on the pre-requisites their future match should have…. It was so annoying that I stopped watching it after the second show. And I am pretty sure watching this new series about a reform rabbi and his non-Jewish love interest would annoy me big time. It sounds so strange- belonging to a different world, so devoid of Jewish principles and values. The story is actually full of woke ideas (I.e. ‘right’ is only what you feel is right, regardless what others think).
At first I thought this series charming but the more I thought about it the more angry I became. All Jewish women in the series are stereotypes as angry and judgemental. The men are sweet and attracted to non Jewish women. I actually found Rachel much more beautiful than the so called Shiksa. Thank you for letting me sound off.
Reform Judaism's reckoning: "What we did not intend is for your generation to turn your backs on our people. We wanted you to be Zionist." In his Yom Kippur sermon, leading Reform Rabbi Ammi Hirsch called out young Jews who protest Israel under the guise of “Tikkun Olam” and laments that the Reform movement has produced so many anti-Zionist Jews.
I appreciate your analysis because your work takes you into that world. I'm a critical reader, but I would have missed a lot without your critique.
Well said and I am a Reform Jew, love my faith and will not be watching this video. I’m tired of the anti semitism and cheap jokes.
Thank you Aleeza. Well said. (from San Mateo, CA)
I'm orthodox SY, and I found the show offensive--terribly so. To show a scene where the mother is eating the unkosher food just to introduce a blackmail narrative, that was the worst. Who writes these shows??? We need Maisel back--that was superb writing without BS romantic, love conquers all endings....Ciao--easy fast.
My husband (who converted) found the series to be insulting in it's portrayal of the Jewish characters. I was especially taken aback by the stereotyping of the Jewish female characters. There were a few funny moments but it was pretty shallow. We sat through the whole series so we can have an educated opinion, but we had to put up with many cringe worthy moments.
Perfect word !!! Cringeworthy ! I physically cringed.
Nobody Wants This—a perfect review, imo. Was there a missed trope? Nope.
Great!
A French writer Saint Exupery wrote: "Love is not looking at each other but looking in the same direction". If You like it or not, this Netflix soap is very interesting as its source is reality not wishful thinking. Halacha did not evolve with the new generations and technology. When the Torah says that every generation should have its own juges this is very meaningful. I enjoyed the soap for what it is: fiction and recognizable dramatic twists.
???
Why are shows pushing intermarriage? Intermarriage is very bad for Jewish women, mostly Jewish men intermarry and come up with excuses why they did it, most non Jewish women convert to marry Jewish men, in Europe they frowned on conversion also Syrian Jews don't believe in conversion, some people convert and then go back to their former religion or they get old and they call up a born Jew on the night of x-mas instead of Chanukah, so what do you say to that, who will Jewish women marry now there is a shortage of Jewish men, how do we solve this big problem
I converted after my husband and I were already married. I had an Orthodox conversion almost 40 years ago. I do think that conversion should require a true belief in Hashem and the same level of study and commitment as becoming a naturalized citizen.
I don’t understand your comment about calling someone on 12/25 instead of Chanukah.
I think there’s probably no shortage of Jewish men in the Orthodox community. I am concerned that pushing everyone to marry young can be a problem for those not ready to do so in their early 20’s.
Spoiler alert...don't read if you haven't watched the series yet.
The Rabbi seems to be willing to give up on his core values because he found someone who is so different from Rebecca. Joanne did the right thing trying to walk away when Rebecca brought up being a Rebbetzin. If Noah is a Reform rabbi, he can marry her as they believe in patrilineal descent so his kids would still be Jewish. The issue in this show seems more about will Joanne be a good partner and supportive of his occupation or is he willing to give it all up. Her life doesn't have much meaning so clearly, bringing Hashem and Torah into her life might lead her to the happiness and meaning she is chasing. It's only a few months in to the relationship. The luster will fade. Season 2 should answer many questions.
Why would a non-Jewish woman even need Torah in her life?
Doesn't that belong to us Jews?
Why wouldn't a Jewish man who considers his occupation to be a Rabbi or leader of a synagogue want to share Judaism with someone who is not Jewish?
Plus, don't you think that a non-Jewish woman would want to have an Xmas tree and celebrate her holiday?
This whole intermarriage garbage is dark, and why would any of us want to waste our time watching such darkness.
It’s a show. Drama requires conflict. In Shakespeare’s time a family feud was enough to keep people apart. In the modern world, that and differences in class are insufficient to be believable barriers. So a major religious, ethnic or cultural difference is required for dramatic purposes. As with everything, if you don’t like it, don’t watch it.
It's a conflict that destroying a large percentage of those who are known as Jews. The Holocaust destroyed 25 percent of Jewry literally. Intermarriage is destroying even more.
They wouldn't be intermarrying if they were better educated about their Own heritage.So intermarriage isn't where it starts.its the lack of education at the root of it.
You are absolutely right
I agree.
I think it's disturbing that so many shows put Judaism down by using humor and saying it's just fun and fiction.
I was very disturbed after watching three episodes and will not watch anymore. He's a Rabbi and she does a podcast that's all about sex.
To me it sends the message that this Rabbi really doesn't care about Hashem and his Judaism as much as he cares about wanting this woman at any cost. It's insulting and I found it offensive as a Jewish woman.
Intermarriage is actually very convenient.Everyone gets to do what they want.
The series is a wonderful entree into many discussions. So much better than Mrs. Maisel, which denegrates everything about Judaism. The Rabbi is a fine young man and his love interest inspires more depth from his partner. What could be better?
She's not Jewish.Doesn't matter what Noah 'believes' or if hes Reform.Theres only one Jewish law passed down from Moses to the Jewish people.Noahs kids will not be Jewish and a marriage like that just sets everyone up for tears further down the road.Selfish at best.
I will tell you what would be better. One Jewish man and one Jewish woman exploring their OWN HERITAGE.
That's what is better.
A fine young man. A Rabbi who sleeps with a woman after the first date. A Rabbi who's in a sex store and runs into one of the board members of his congregation who is in the sex store with a woman who's not his wife. This whole series is making Judaism look cheap and not connected to Hashem.
This whole series caters to the culture today where everything is okay and there is no right or wrong.
We as Jews are in trouble if you think this is a wonderful series.
Protest! I take umbrage that Ms. Aleeza has the opinion/hints/thinks that sex after the first date is a given. What planet does she come from? Or better still, what is she reading and viewing to give her that viewpoint? Does she automatically believe everything she reads and watches without fact finding? Is Hollywood fantasy her Weltanschauung that guides her compass?
I work with thousands of singles around the world and speak to hundreds of matchmakers regularly. It’s not my opinion. It’s what I’ve heard first hand from the people who are doing it. And the first time I heard it my jaw dropped. Now it’s just the norm. I’m told by the masses of women they are a prude if they wait till the 3rd date. This also shocked me. I’m working hard to change these self destructive behaviors. There are not my thoughts or opinions. This is true information from real people who have share their personal experiences.
She's just repeating popular public opinion.Chill.No one says you have to be a doormat and ascribe to that particular practice.
It is the norm today. Unfortunately children as young as 13 or 14 are having sex with multiple partners. We're living in a world with no values. Shows like this just exacerbate the immorality.
Spot on!
Sad.
The question is:
Why isn't this guy interested in a Jewish woman?
And why isn't a Jewish woman not interested in him?
Logically, there should be plenty of Jewish women available to him.
But psychologically, he isn't interested in a Jewish woman AND
Jewish women are not interested in him.
No that's not it.Men are weak and a pretty face caught his eye.No biggie.Hardly rocket science.And stolen waters are sweet.
There's plenty of pretty faces amongst Jewish women. Why do you think even the Jew Hating Goy'm go for Jews (and they certainly do because I have seen it several times)? There is something psychological with this guy that he doesn't search for a Jewish woman, instead of a non-Jewish woman.
Nope.I don't think so.He's not serious about his Jewishness....proof? He's reform(which if you are an intelligent thinking person doesn't make rational sense)and there's yichud rules which show us how easy it is to fall for some rando.So there you go, it's That simple.
I have an interesting experience. I was raised Jewish. I fell in love with a protestant Christian. I married him and we have three children and now a grandson. When my daughter was an adult and did one of those blood tests she found out the news that her mother, me had non jewish ancestors. Personally I had forgotten but both my maternal grandmother and my paternal grandmother had told me that not all of their ancestors were Jewish when I was young and asked them about my ancestry. To be specific, my mothers, mothers, mother was a Christian Romanian who married a Polish Jew. She never converted to Judism for whatever reason I do not know because she died before I was born. My father's mothers mother's father was Asian, probably Chineese.
So technically you may not be a Jew? Oh my! You do have an interesting experience.
one jew less that intermaried!
so it wasnt even an intermariage
Most of the worlds population experience not being a Jew.Jews are a minority.
If you grew up not knowing if your maternal side was Jewish or not, your parents clearly did not have a Jewish marriage so how 'Jewish' exactly was your upbringing? It doesn't seem to have taken much effect as you married a non Jew so what does it matter?
Sounds like your family is like a Dim Sum.
Elena, is Judaism important enough for you or your children to convert?
Excellent piece, Aleeza! I hope many daters read this and get past the notion that "love conquers all." Compatibility and aligned values builds a home. Thank you for presenting your thoughts in such a easy to read, intelligent article. Much love, Matchmaker Laurie
PS my 88 year old father loved the article as well.
Do you think that's accurate? I suspect those people being physical after 1 date really mean sex conquers all.How can you love someone after 1 date? Baloney.
The stereotypes of the Jews was disturbing, especially the depiction of the clawing, overbearing Jewish mother. Stereotyping sets people apart, and creates the impression of the 'other'...which begins the slippery slope into antisemitism. Some of the film was amusing, but overall, offensive.
Real Jewish mother in laws Are often offensive.Maybe the portrayel was more accurate than we would like to believe?
What a terrible stereotype.
Yes, life can be terrible.A beautiful Trauma😉
My mother was a good role model of a daughter in law, and HER mother in law, my grandmother, was a good role model of a mother in law. I loved my mother in law and I HATE being a mother in law because my daughter in laws have all this meshugas. 🤢🤢
So well said, Aleeza. A more realistic movie about a rabbi that falls in love with a girl who isn't religious (but IS Jewish) is the soon-to-be-released Set Me Free. Two people who love each other don't have to be exactly the same, but they don need to have shared values, and be headed in the same direction.
Good, about the 30 percent of Jews who pick other Jews to be spouses.
Mazel Tov.
But what is pathetic is the 70 percent who don't.
I would think a large percentage of that 70% just dont have enough knowledge and/or Jewish education to make the choice.Whats really pathetic is the ignorance of so many of our nation.Its terrible.
Can’t wait to review that show on here! The story of Jews of different backgrounds coming together is a great one!
How can we watch Set Me Free? Now that's our kind of movie!
Interesting choice of photograph from the, ummm, marital aid store...
These endless brainless and terribly misleading movies about Jewish men and non-Jewish women seems to be writers' and producers' efforts to justify their own intermarriages. Their abandonment of Judaism also abandons Jewish women left with no Jew to marry. What is furthermore disgusting is that sometimes these men demand that their children be raised Jewish, wanting to eat their cake and have it, too.
Yes, there's many stereotypes from the 60's that need to be carted off to the trash bin. I nominate the Woody Allen nebbishy Jewish guy trope to lead the parade out the door.
Ignorant and plain stupid to try to stereo type a Jew.Jews are everything and everywhere.
There are so many things wrong with this show. Not enough research was done. There are so many mistakes & false information. It makes a mockery of Judaism. Judaism isn't just a religion it's a way of life.
Jewish people interloping with Non-Jews make a mockery of Judaism.
Do you mean eloping?
Enveloping.
Another point that was completely ridiculous, was the rabbi’s mother eating the non kosher meat in the kitchen. That completely belittled the value, principles and concept of maintaining a Kosher diet.
Also, why did the rabbi only wear a kippah at synagogue and the brother was eating chicken parmesan? It also looked like mac and cheese with hot dogs at the camp.
I have not watched this yet. You mention the rabbi is reformed. The majority of reformed Jews do not keep kosher including mixing meat with dairy, and only wear their Kippahs to service
I’m not sure I’ll enjoy it:(
I agree - it was never said that the mother was reform...She said she had a kosher home and didn't want non-kosher food. Why would she eat pork? It ruined any reality
Our sent the message that some say one thing, but do the opposite.
There are a few series and movies I watch on Netflix before canceling my subscription. I don't like that most of their fare has violent, woke or anti-Jewish messaging. I just cancelled my subscription again because of "Nobody Wants This". Subscribe to Izzy TV from Israel. Really good stuff!
Love is rare to nonexistent. Just curious why the need to mention Reform Rabbi? We are either Jews or not. The rest of the ‘titles’ must disappear.
I so agree! That's why in the film I produced, Set Me Free, we don't mention labels that divide us. It's why a Torah-observant Rabbi is open to dating (and maybe even marrying) a completely secular woman....who is Jewish. http://www.SetMeFreeMovie.com.
At least both are Jewish.
That is good when both are Jewish
I don't like labels either, but it's generally known that Reform generally doesn't follow halachah (Torah laws – e.g., Shabbat, kashrut, etc.) in its traditional form, and therefore it would be a chilul Hashem (profanation of the Almighty's name) to have viewers believe that this Noah character's behavior is sanctioned (for rabbis, no less) by Torah Judaism!
I love how everyone who is NOT a Reform jew and who has never set foot in a Reform temple is somehow a self-qualified expert on Reform Judaism. In the Reform temple I previously belonged to, the standard absolutely was learning Hebrew, observing Shabbos and all holidays, and having a kosher home. Yet somehow all other denominations of jews believe that Reform judaism is “judaism light” or just being a “cardiac jew” (a jew by heart but not in practice) is enough. You simply have no idea, and it’s prejudicial, arrogant and judgmental. When Chabad outreaches to jews, there is the expectation of meeting someone where they are: action first, and the heart will follow. A jew is a jew. Only in the Orthodox community do they look down on fellow jews, believing that it’s their way or no way at all.
Nah.They don't believe it's their way or no way at all.They believe the Torah is not theirs to adapt to their convenience.They believe they owe their allegiance to G-d and therfore follow His word. Reform? You talking about the guys who drives to shul on shabos?? Seriously do you not see the hypocrisy? Maybe the Orthodox who actually do what G-d asks of them Are better Jews.Your guess is as good as mine.
You're correct many Orthodox are snobs and look down on Jews who are not religious. I have experienced it.
But there so many Jews who are secular or Reform or Conservative who have intermarried when there are good choices who are Jews (OUR OWN).
Both are a problem. Judaism has 2 Mitzvohs that cover both. Love your fellow Jew AND the prohibition of marrying or being with a non-Jew. Both are being broken by each group. Very sad.
I grew up Reform and later became Orthodox. It’s a long journey, but I’ll share one story that sums it up. My father (may his memory be blessed) never understood my 'transformation.' He’d say, "I could never get you interested in anything Jewish. You had no interest in going to temple, in marrying Jewish—nothing. And now, all of a sudden, you love it? What happened?"
I explained it to him with an analogy: "Imagine a kid who grows up hating pizza. He wouldn’t go near it. Then, years later, you see him and pizza’s his favorite food. What changed? Turns out, the 'pizza' he grew up with was just a microwaved piece of bread with ketchup and a slice of American cheese. Then, he discovered real, deep-dish, double-cheese pizza baked in a brick oven in Little Italy—and he couldn’t get enough."
Wow.thats a risky post in these politically correct times...tut tut...standing up for the truth!
It sounds like you had an unfulfilling experience at your temple, personally. And a lack of education or enthusiasm at home to set the example in your family. That doesn’t mean your experience is the same as everyone else’s- we all find our way to G-d as individual Jews. Those that gatekeep, denigrate, and judge other Jews on their journey towards Hashem are an embarrassment on the entire community. Especially in these times of open antisemitism- our enemies are just filled with joy at watching the “arrogant ugly Jews” fight each other over who is more G-dly and better than each other.
The Jews are in exile because of hating other Jews for no reason, and instead of looking down on other Jews teach Judaism like the Chabad does, Syrian Sephardic Jews are not religious but they go to Orthodox Shuls and their rebbes now not all of their congregation is strictly Orthodox, some Jews are not Orthodox but they are traditional and Sephardic Syrian Jews marry other Sephardic Syrian Jews, why can't Askenzi Jews find other Jews to marry and not marry non Jews, and there is a lot of intermarriage, which is terrible and also a rise of anti semitism too
Did they say he was reform in the show? I was wondering...
Weird comment.What do you mean? Reform Jews have created their own nonsensical idea of what the Torah should be.The clue is in the name: Reform.Can we not accept there's many different types of Jews?
Again, you are completely ignorant to Reform Judaism. Reform Jews believe in Torah for all moral, philosophical and spiritual instruction. They also believe details change with the times, and reflect the world today- nobody is going to be struck down for wearing mixed fibres in clothing, for instance. A woman is not sinning against G-d and bringing shame on her community for the “crime” of wearing jeans! Having a relationship with G-d, growing as a Jew and expanding your observance is all fine. Get the foundation right, the rest comes as it will. You should be ashamed of yourself for judging other Jews as if you are G-d yourself! Outrageous! It’s a new year- resolve to grow and do better!
I second that. When I was younger, the only thing that held me back from marrying my christian girlfriend was that I wanted Jewish kids and even though I wasn't so into Jewish women, I knew that in Judaism the kids' religion went after the mother, Then I got a magazine from our reform temple saying that from now on the kids' religion can go after the father too!
I don't look down on you, Carly. Your line about mixed fibers (sha'atenez) is a straw man since no one ever said violators are "struck down." People who denigrate reform people are missing the boat. What does reform say about sha'atenez? Is it now permissible because "details change with the times & reflect the world today?" How deeply have you studied the concept before jettisoning it? Reform people denigrators are shallow, but so is dismissing mixed fibers & immodest dress. These are all tools for having a relationship with G-d, WHEN you understand it in depth.
I'm not sure where you hold relative to shomer negiah and the five date challenge. Is this a nod towards some form of contemporary reality? Or, was I mistaken in assuming you were more of an orthodox shadchun?
I think Aliza is trying to meet people where they are. She is Orthodox and you can see that she espouses an Orthodox outlook, but she's realistic in terms of what is the "norm" outside of the Orthodox community. She helps people from all over the spectrum of Judaism find a partner whose core values they respect, and who are respected in return; her goal is to help people decide if they want to live a lifetime together. If she would answer, I think that she might say that she recommends limiting physical contact and intimacy until after the wedding, but of course, I can't speak for her. Interesting article. I don't watch tv, I'll probably never see this show, and might even find some of it offensive, but I can see that these are issues that are timely and need to be addressed.
Aleeza tells people to be shomer negiah, but they don't listen.
I encourage a 5 date challenge for those who don’t observe shomer negiah. I don’t tell people what to do. I offer different ways of having successful relationships. I simply share wisdom and tools. People use them as they see fit.
You’re spot on about me!
Thank you for writing this and for bringing Jews together through your matchmaking.
Thank you for reading this and for your kind words!