Debunking Viral Claim About the Talmud and Minors
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The astrology book said we were doomed as a couple. Naturally, I married him. That was 47 years ago.
When my husband and I were dating, young, idealistic, and wide-eyed, we stumbled across an astrology guide at a book fair in Israel. Curious, we flipped to our signs: I’m a passionate, dramatic Scorpio; he’s a calm, quiet Aries. The book’s verdict? “Doomed. Highly unstable. Approach with extreme caution.”
Naturally, I married him. That was 47 years ago.
Our honeymoon on the U.S. West Coast is still family legend. My husband drove five hours to what he called the “perfect fishing spot.” When we arrived, I saw nothing—no coffee shop, no bench, no sign of life. He cheerfully unpacked his gear; I gave him 30 minutes.
His gentle but firm “Absolutely not” sent me storming off in the car, no map, no GPS. I got lost and came back with a flat tire. We caught no fish, but the story’s been a keeper.
I’m the extrovert: hosting, chatting, sharing opinions on everything from soup to geopolitics. My husband? A man of few words, but always the right ones.
Where I bring fire, he brings calm. Where I fill silences, he listens. We don’t match in personality, but our compass points the same way.
Our bond isn’t built on shared interests, but shared values: family, faith, tradition. We built our home around the Shabbat table, where the food is abundant and the debates passionate. Together we raised our children with love for Torah, Israel, and each other. Yes, the “empty nest” never really happened - our home overflows with grandkids, toys, and Shabbat leftovers.
The real secret? Giving each other space to breathe. I need lively dinners; he needs quiet. We respect each other’s rhythm. We don’t try to change each other. After nearly half a century, we still talk, laugh, and enjoy one another’s company.
So what’s the key to 47 years together?
Shared values, mutual respect, laughter, and knowing when to pass the salt without being asked.
Most of all, it is about ignoring books that say you are doomed.
Well said Debbie! Many more years in good health and happiness for the both of you!
Wonderful!
IYH we will be celebrating 42 years in October. Between observance differences, an interfering family and life's ups and downs, we are still together. Sometimes it just came down to neither of us wanted to divorce at the same time. We live in a disposable society and marriage has become disposable. A good marriage requires a lot of hard work, determination and devotion. Congrats on 47 years!
I just celebrated 58 years of marriage! The start was rough: Husband is a dedicated physician and put virtually everything into being a great doctor. Yet we overcame all problems: Folks didn't get divorced so quickly in my day. In love more than ever.l
Thank you for this wonderful article. We're the young ones in this group at being married for only 20 years, lol. Sending heartfelt hugs to all of you!
Beautiful Debbie!
You described my marriage as well, with a few slight variations. BH going strong at 33 years. My husband is quiet. I am talkative. "We don’t match in personality, but our compass points the same way." Same here! Wishing you many more happy years!!
I think that the key thought here: "We don't try to change each other". I read a book by a Jewish therapist (whose name I can not recall) who related that female client that he had complained about all sorts of "faults" in her husband that she was trying to correct... HE asked her: Do you want to be correct -- or happy? Meaning it was highly doubtful that she would really "make" her husband "change" EVEN IF SHE WAS CORRECT IN HER ASSESSMENT. However, she would end up being very unhappy in such a marriage. Instead, if she just accepted that "this was her husband" and stop trying to change him, she would likely find lots of happiness....
Agree completely, great article! (We're at 41 years +.)
I loved your article Debbie. It was full of underlying emotion, down to earth, funny, so clever, I could just feel the love in your home. I so agreed with all you wrote. You gave food for thought & there is lots that one can learn from.
So true
Debbie, I really enjoyed what you wrote — I laughed a bit and found myself agreeing with every word